Any time I’m checking out a new restaurant I’ll ask the server “is there anything I need to try?” Sometimes I’ll get pushed towards a specific dish I wasn’t considering. Other times the question is met with “honestly, everything is good.” Always like hearing a server’s perspective though. It’s not meant to push me towards the popular — it’s meant to illuminate any points of pride a server or restaurant has. For instance — the sautéed lamb liver over hummus at Yemenat, which I wouldn’t have ordered in a million years, but was outrageously good.
can confirm the italy sentiment - went to dinner and ordered rock shrimp + pesto. Simone (GM) told me they were out of the rock shrimp. I asked her if I could get another protein on it and she said "no - just parmesan." and so I said yes maam and got pesto pasta sans shrimp and with lots of grated parm
I like to order the things I know a chef/owner really put some thought into. And I find that is rarely what people order most. On a recent lunch at Duck Fat in Portland, Me, a fry and poutine restaurant, I ordered a daily special: corned beef tongue with ferments, grain mustard and grilled bread. It was terrific. That wouldn't be on the specials if they hadn't put good effort in. And I like meat cured with care. Mostly people order the fries and poutine and sandwiches. My fries were a bit off from their normal standard, so the tongue dish made the meal.
When I was a server at The French Laundry, when people asked what people usually ordered, I would respond with a set of questions before I could recommend a menu. Mostly, in those days people didn't understand what they were in for. So we wanted to make sure if they asked what to order, that we set good expectations--well beyond "everything is good" which it was. The staff we had made that possible, but as Brooks mentions, there are few restaurants where the servers really know the food and how to understand what a guest is really looking to eat.
Thanks for chiming in. I would certainly trust a server at The French Laundry to be able to make a sound suggestion or provide nuanced guidance if requested. Top notch team, and after watching the recent Chef's Table I decided I need to make a stronger effort to get there.
I think it's worth the effort to get there. With your experience level, you'll appreciate their anticipation and execution.
Interesting that Thomas and Laura pay the service staff salary and benefits for a few reasons which really helps to develop and retain the talent in the front of house. My experience there ['96-'97] shaped my worldview and career deeply. I am thankful and blessed to have been a part of TFL.
I know you're here as a thought leader, and I appreciate your insight, worldliness, and the breadth of knowledge you bring. Most people probably like being guided—especially us People Pleasers who struggle with knowing what we actually like. (I’m still trying to decide if I would want butter on my Coronation Chicken Sandwich.)
I have a strong aversion to being told what to do, especially in a directive tone. It might just be an “Amy thing” as I’m learning how to say “no,” so I can be extra sensitive to anything that feels pushy.
One reason I really enjoy platforms like Substack is that they feel like a break from the manipulation I often sense in everyday social media. I get to choose what I engage with, rather than feeling nudged toward a certain behavior.
I also don’t like being told what to do, so I get it. Though those titles read as directives, they are really there so readers can go back and find the sections easily. I found “recipe” or “travel tip” to be too vanilla. Next time it arrives just pretend it says “you might like to make this, or maybe not”
I could not agree more. I like what I like, and I don't care if it is popular.
I'll try anything once and will eat just about anything, but I just cannot do mixed fish (like a paella that has shrimp, fish, and mussels--not for me!). Only one seafood item at a time! It drives my father nuts. It seems a little bit baby-ish, but I've tried it, and it makes me a little nauseous every single time.
I find this attitude to be one of the most refreshing things about getting older, whether it be about food or any other kind of taste: knowing yourself and what you like is the absolute best.
Thanks Grace. I love a Bouillabaisse or a Paella, but the whole point was to embrace what YOU love! So, I’m here for your preferences!! Thanks, as always, for reading.
I love this reminder. I think we have been so conditioned to feel FOMO that we forget that our own preferences and tastes matter too! Totally agree that this translates to media and what we choose to consume online.
Btw, tried Rothe & Son per your recommendation last time I was in London and it was one of the highlights of my trip.
Fully agree. However. I have a dear friend who knows what she likes, but she also loves knowing what other people get at a restaurant/coffee shop. I see her interest as expansive, encompassing, and, in a way, community-forward or connecting.
Any time I’m checking out a new restaurant I’ll ask the server “is there anything I need to try?” Sometimes I’ll get pushed towards a specific dish I wasn’t considering. Other times the question is met with “honestly, everything is good.” Always like hearing a server’s perspective though. It’s not meant to push me towards the popular — it’s meant to illuminate any points of pride a server or restaurant has. For instance — the sautéed lamb liver over hummus at Yemenat, which I wouldn’t have ordered in a million years, but was outrageously good.
Thanks for your feedback. I only trust this approach in a small number of restaurants…
I love this and it's a nice charge against Recommendation Culture. Also, LOL - I would also rather have a bowl of Grape Nuts than foie gras.
can confirm the italy sentiment - went to dinner and ordered rock shrimp + pesto. Simone (GM) told me they were out of the rock shrimp. I asked her if I could get another protein on it and she said "no - just parmesan." and so I said yes maam and got pesto pasta sans shrimp and with lots of grated parm
I like to order the things I know a chef/owner really put some thought into. And I find that is rarely what people order most. On a recent lunch at Duck Fat in Portland, Me, a fry and poutine restaurant, I ordered a daily special: corned beef tongue with ferments, grain mustard and grilled bread. It was terrific. That wouldn't be on the specials if they hadn't put good effort in. And I like meat cured with care. Mostly people order the fries and poutine and sandwiches. My fries were a bit off from their normal standard, so the tongue dish made the meal.
When I was a server at The French Laundry, when people asked what people usually ordered, I would respond with a set of questions before I could recommend a menu. Mostly, in those days people didn't understand what they were in for. So we wanted to make sure if they asked what to order, that we set good expectations--well beyond "everything is good" which it was. The staff we had made that possible, but as Brooks mentions, there are few restaurants where the servers really know the food and how to understand what a guest is really looking to eat.
Thanks for chiming in. I would certainly trust a server at The French Laundry to be able to make a sound suggestion or provide nuanced guidance if requested. Top notch team, and after watching the recent Chef's Table I decided I need to make a stronger effort to get there.
I think it's worth the effort to get there. With your experience level, you'll appreciate their anticipation and execution.
Interesting that Thomas and Laura pay the service staff salary and benefits for a few reasons which really helps to develop and retain the talent in the front of house. My experience there ['96-'97] shaped my worldview and career deeply. I am thankful and blessed to have been a part of TFL.
I know you're here as a thought leader, and I appreciate your insight, worldliness, and the breadth of knowledge you bring. Most people probably like being guided—especially us People Pleasers who struggle with knowing what we actually like. (I’m still trying to decide if I would want butter on my Coronation Chicken Sandwich.)
I have a strong aversion to being told what to do, especially in a directive tone. It might just be an “Amy thing” as I’m learning how to say “no,” so I can be extra sensitive to anything that feels pushy.
One reason I really enjoy platforms like Substack is that they feel like a break from the manipulation I often sense in everyday social media. I get to choose what I engage with, rather than feeling nudged toward a certain behavior.
Thanks for letting me explain.
I also don’t like being told what to do, so I get it. Though those titles read as directives, they are really there so readers can go back and find the sections easily. I found “recipe” or “travel tip” to be too vanilla. Next time it arrives just pretend it says “you might like to make this, or maybe not”
I could not agree more. I like what I like, and I don't care if it is popular.
I'll try anything once and will eat just about anything, but I just cannot do mixed fish (like a paella that has shrimp, fish, and mussels--not for me!). Only one seafood item at a time! It drives my father nuts. It seems a little bit baby-ish, but I've tried it, and it makes me a little nauseous every single time.
I find this attitude to be one of the most refreshing things about getting older, whether it be about food or any other kind of taste: knowing yourself and what you like is the absolute best.
Thanks Grace. I love a Bouillabaisse or a Paella, but the whole point was to embrace what YOU love! So, I’m here for your preferences!! Thanks, as always, for reading.
Oh and grape nuts.
I just bought a pair of yellow shorts bc they called the color butter. I don't wear yellow but the butter are kinda cute. I love butter 🧈
I love this reminder. I think we have been so conditioned to feel FOMO that we forget that our own preferences and tastes matter too! Totally agree that this translates to media and what we choose to consume online.
Btw, tried Rothe & Son per your recommendation last time I was in London and it was one of the highlights of my trip.
Love this! And love grape nuts! Lol
I did, but now I’m an ezekial cereal convert! So good
Omg used to be my JAM! Need to bring that back
I do the ezekial golden flax, drizzle of honey, chopped walnuts, pecans, scoop of peanut butter, malk almond milk. NUT CITY USA
I agree completely! This is the best of your writing. And contrary to the “make this, buy this, do this” directives.
Why don’t you like those directives? Would love to hear more.
Fully agree. However. I have a dear friend who knows what she likes, but she also loves knowing what other people get at a restaurant/coffee shop. I see her interest as expansive, encompassing, and, in a way, community-forward or connecting.
Nothing wrong with knowing what everyone else likes, I agree. But using that as your one and only guide/metric for what you like is the issue.